How do I make this long distant relationship work? [importannnt]?

I'm in a long distant relationship as of an hour ago, LAWL. I'm pretty stoked because I like the guy alot, but I live in Canada, and he lives in California, we're both crazy about each other, I was wondering if you guys have any tip on how to make it work, and if you're going to be a hater and say '; you're stupid, it's not going to work'; then stfu, and keep your negative comments to your dayamn self, k thanks ;] btw we're both 16.How do I make this long distant relationship work? [importannnt]?
you cantHow do I make this long distant relationship work? [importannnt]?
First of all it's going to be tough and super sucky a lot of the time. I speak from experience. Trusting each other is definitely the number one thing. Make sure you have time to talk, but don't stop hanging out with your friends just to talk with him and don't expect him to do the same. You are both living your lives in separate places so don't sacrifice your friends time. This doesn't mean don't ever talk to him, just make sure your life isn't revolving around this guy who lives over a thousand miles away.





Honestly, 16 seems pretty young for long distance. But who am I to say...
well to be honest, your 16. still pretty young. i'm not trying to say that it's not going to work, but the two of you are still at that stage where relationships don't exactly have the maturity and stability. especially a long distance relationship. i'm 20 and i have a boyfriend in the navy stationed across the country from me. so i'm doing long distance as well. but it's well worth it to me. it's just, you have to put in a lot of effort and patience and trust and communication skills to make it work. it's gonna be hard. really hard at times.


i recommend getting skype and webcams.
It is though but possible.





Thank God for skype! I thing in the end it all comes down to trust. If you both, i repeat both want to see eachother than it will work, but if there are no chances of you meeting anyway, then you will have to face the reality *its been a great summer*.


Now don't freak out. Wait.


Try the skype thing, talk and see how it goes. You have to look at it as 50-50 chance of sucess or not. Now you can look at it with those gloomy 50% that says no this will never work, but what if....





what if...it does?!








Hang in there chika...(i am) and its fine.
I dont know how far apart that is distance wise but it sounds a long way, THE PLAIN TRUTH is your eventualy drift apart wont speak so often and your both become interested in other people eventualy. Im sorry to be the bearer of bad news and i really do know its not what you want to hear but im only being honest with you. your only 16 so you have your hole life ahead of you trust me :-)
16 yrs old is... super hard





It was hard even for my boyfriend/fiance and I who are graduating from college. you'll need to sacrifice a LOT





He gave up graduate school and decided to work so he can follow and support me to whatever state I go to for medical school , then after I get out and get a job, he plans to go back for his master's degree. That's a lot of committment!
First of all... My best advise is not to trust online relations that much...


How do you know he's actually 16 as he claims to be...?


Whatever...


If you really want to meet each other why can't he come to Canada?


I mean you're not in Timbuktu...!!! It's only few hundreds of distance... He can make it within a day...


Am I right..?





However again I'm telling you... Tell him to talk to you using a web cam... See him really...


Then decide whether you guys must meet or not...





Good luck...
I am in an even longer distance relationship than you guys! I'm in France and my boyfriend is in the States. I suggest phonecalls at least once every 3 days, letters and emails. Good luck!
My youth minister had a story quite like this. He and his wife were very far apart but they met in the middle and made it work. If it's love, it can overcome anything.
well, then you're just asking us to say what you want to hear rather than what's true. not sure we can help.
Ask the important questions at the onset, to make sure you are both clear on the parameters of the relationship. Setting parameters such as naming your relationship (dating, seeing each other, boyfriend/girlfriend, engaged)as well defining exclusive(limited to one person,) non exclusive. These can be difficult and awkward questions to ask, but will save you great heartache and misunderstanding down the line. Example: ';Are you open to the possibility of relocating if the relationship should become more serious?'; or ';What are you looking to get out of the relationship?';. Stating your end goal or ideas will allow each person to maintain what they need.





Do things together. Defy the distance. As a long distance couple, it's important to do other things together besides the usual phone call. In a long distance relationship, interaction over the phone can become dull in the long run. Incorporating other forms of interaction are important. Just think... people in short-distance relationships do not spend the majority of their time talking, but rather doing things with each other. Try to replicate this by finding things to do together such as watching a TV show or movie simultaneously. For an extensive list of more things you can do with each other (or for each other) click here: Over 70 Activities %26amp; Ideas for LDR Couples!





Communicate in some way every day, more than once if possible. Since you won't be seeing each other, it's important to establish and maintain an emotional connection. These don't always have to be long, in-depth conversations. Tell each other about your little triumphs and tragedies. Ask for advice. Use an instant messenger program or VoIP for real-time chat, or web cams for that visual connection. E-mail is great so make sure you use it, especially if long-distance phone calls put a strain on your budget. Remember that e-mail and even instant messengers can increase the possibility of misunderstandings. Write love letters. Send small gifts or flowers for no reason. In this case, quantity is as important as quality. You may discover an advantage over others whose partner is close at hand - you don't take communication for granted!





Take advantage of the benefits a long distance relationship offers: more time with friends and/or family, no arguments over toothpaste caps, the pleasure of seeing your sweetheart again after a long absence, time to mull your options (rather than snapping at your partner impulsively) before you respond to that email s/he wrote that seemed so rude the first time you read it, etc. Most important, being far apart gives you a chance to maintain your individuality - something that can get lost in the shuffle when couples spend all their free time together. See more reasons to appreciate your LDR





Pursue common interests, even if it means pursuing them apart. If there's a movie you're both interested in seeing, watch it individually and then call each other afterward and talk about it. Read a certain book at the same time. Stargaze while you're on the phone. Set your watches to go off at the same time every day, and synchronize your alarm with that of your partner. Make it a point to think of each other when your watch goes off, and revel in the fact that he or she is thinking about you, too. Find creative ways to bond.





Avoid the temptation to be controlling. People have free will and no one can or should control another person. As long as you are both interested in being in the relationship, you will stick with it and distance will not make a difference. As soon as one of you decides the other is not a good match - or someone else is a better match - your relationship ends, whether you live 3000 miles apart, two streets over, or share the same bed with your wedding picture on the wall. You are going to have to trust each other completely if this relationship is going to work.





Talk about your future together. Assuming that ultimately you'd want to live together, discussing how you're going to get to that point will help you prove to each other that the relationship is going somewhere and that your efforts and frustrations are not in vain.


Remember: things will get better with time, and even the relationship will become better. Have hope.





Visit often Try to make the time to visit each other as often as possible or as often as your budget permits you to. A relationship cannot thrive if the only thing you have is the phone calls. You need to see each other up close and personal every chance you get. The key here is to set up some ';rules'; about frequency of communication and visits and stick to them, consistency can help a LDR survive.


Avoid jealousy and be trusting One of the easiest ways to destroy a perfectly healthy relationship is to poison it with jealousy and drama. When you start a long distance relationship you must be realistic of the difficulties ahead. It always helps if you go in a relationship with the idea that everyone is innocent and
i'm not going to say it's not impossible because it isn't. i'm the exact same way actually, except im in california and he's in canada. lol. i met him when i was 16 too and now two years later, we're engaged to be married. i'll tell you now, it's the hardest thing to go though. my advice is not to get in over your head with this because it gets so hard. you guys will end up fighting about trust issues a lot, and how you guys are going to be able to see eachother, because if your guy's parents are anything like mine and my fiance's, you wont be able to. oh! and when prom rolls around, all h.e.l.l. will break lose. Just trust me, it's hard, but not impossible, but also i'm not saying you guys should be getting married either . just dont do anything stupid, and if you want to talk about it some more, just message me, and i can share my experiences with you.





ndang30@yahoo.com